Transition

My blog is the forum where I can share information and download my thoughts and feelings and muse over the “what is” and “what isn’t” in my life as a caregiver. But being that I am a CG, time to write is rarely there. It’s in my mind, but doesn’t always make it to the laptop. I guess it’s my catch 22!

I’ve spoken of my mom and her changing challenges and though I know exactly where this road is leading, after her assessment this past Monday, it was like losing control of the wheel for a second on a winding road. I know in a familiar environment, things usually are easier for a person w/AD. You think things aren’t “that bad” or they still know “hot to do” such and such, but put into a neutral arena and you can see how much is bad.

I know I’m overdue in starting the process to look into full-time care places for my mom, with so much else to contend with, I knew I’d get around to it, while hoping time will be on my side. Though circumstances aren’t perfect, thank goodness time is on my side in the fact that she still is responsive and can do some things, yet it isn’t because it’s challenging to keep up with everything for her and yet do what I need to do for me. I’m exhausted and there are new things that crop up. I hope it’ll be a one shot thing, but oh no!, it becomes the norm and guess who’s getting even less sleep!

In writing this I wanted to see clinically in what stage my mom’s at and according to the Alzheimer’s Association, my mom’s at Stage 6, which is considered Severe Cognitive Decline. Losing awareness, needs help with toileting, behavioral changes, changes in sleep pattern, needs help dressing, unable to recall spouse or caregiver and so on. My mom, thank goodness doesn’t have the trait of wandering which is big with many AD sufferers. Some of these traits have been onset in her, longer than others, some are far worse than others, it’s like rolling the dice, you never know what you’ll get. But as we are all different, so too are people with AD and some traits overlap stages. If you’re wondering at what stage your loved one is at, or want to know what’s to come, use the stages list provided by the AA as a guideline.

Another transition beginning for me is the process of looking into assisted living homes with a great Alzheimer’s/memory care program. It’s time to figure out where I want to be, so I’ll know where to place mom. I saw this time coming, but when it hits, BAM, it’s in your face. The reality is, I’ve been rather stoic through all of this…I had a few teary moments thinking, “things really are changing!” I haven’t had my mother for a while being in her present state, but she’s still the woman who raised me, reared me, bought me corsages for every birthday when I was little, baked for me, baked for my friends, cooked for my friends, made my friends her daughters & sons; who car pooled with other mothers, to and from dancing school, roller skating, and friendly’s, who made every birthday and holiday special. Who along with my dad (deceased) gave me a wonderful life and it’s hard to know none of that is remembered or will ever be remembered by her.

Transitions come with the journey, but this is surely the beginning of one of the biggest I’m going to have to deal with now. Where to begin? Like you or some of you, I”m a new cg who’s learning as I go. And as I learn, I’ll share with you.

I’m on to another new normal.