There have been several moments, dates, events that have passed when I felt the need to write and somehow my fingers never found their way to the keyboard. Then the day after I’d be disappointed that I couldn’t muster up a post; couldn’t give voice to this caregiving and Alzheimer’s. That type of thinking led me into, what’ s wrong with me, what type of advocate am I, I know somethings’ wrong?!
I’m the first to tell you that I’m caught up in my head and feelings, but when I see it’s been three months since my last post, it doesn’t feel that good. I’ve promised to be and do better; I got on a roll and then…well we know.
All that I can do is get back on the grind and refocus. And I’m speaking on refocusing on many areas in my life, but I’ll start today with my blog. I knew with Mother’s Day around the corner, I needed to write on topic. I’ve been feeling a little out of whack and last night I felt maybe it has to do with Mother’s Day. My running and gunning for a card here and gift there, perhaps the thought that I’m once again not doing anything for my mom may have been a silent trigger. Maybe it’s affected me, maybe not, I guess I’ll know on Monday.
Some days I still find it hard to write or talk about my mom without tears. And OH, on some stressful days, I want to crawl up in a ball saying “I want my mommy, I miss my mommy.” How many caregivers are saying that this weekend? And how many of you who are caregivers with a mom currently afflicted with Alzheimer’s are saying that? Because you know the physical person is there but depending on the stage of your mom, she may be highly cognitive and able to know what’s going on and then she may be on the lower end, where you miss the woman you knew.
As a daughter to a mother who had Alzheimer’s it’s true you may have never seen this day coming, but jump in with both hands and feet. As challenging as it can get, please know YOU are the best person for the job. A mother-daughter bond is a great bond if it’s good, who better to know the little things that will make your mom comfortable, relaxed, or happy than you? With my mom, though she couldn’t have too many sweets, I knew the occasional cupcake would bring about a calm moment, or going for a car ride would make her happy and me, calmer times. Yes it does mean more work on the caregiver, but you’re also giving to yourself…more time, more peace, more good moments with your mom.
So this Mother’s Day please give your mom a big hug for me. Don’t let the stress of the job take away your joy, cause it will. If you can’t get out to buy a card, make one and if you’re looking for that perfect gift, don’t look for the gift, look for one that will benefit you both. Share moments, just listen to them, record their stories, play music, dance with them, ask questions about their past, have them help you frost a cake and just love on them. Believe me, your mom will know love.
Happy Mother’s Day!….and I promise I will do better!