I was trying to write my blog in a chronological order of my experiences, but somewhere between the first sign of changes till now, it’s hard to remember what happens first or what happens when. Therefore I’m forgoing chronological and going with what comes to mind.
One common trait with a person with Alzheimer’s is their frustration being manifested by lashing out or using bad or sometimes profane words. My mother who is no stranger to cussing, but for the most part was always a timid person, has taken on calling me the “b” word and and another time “to go to hell.” I was already used to her usual rant of “you wish I were dead”, I even got used to the “b” word, though if it were anyone other than my mom calling me that I wouldn’t be so nice or quiet about it. But when she told me to go to hell, it shook me a little. Why? I have no reason other than it was the first time she has ever said that to me?
I forewarn any new caregiver, get ready for these scenarios and in some cases, even worse. Usually the person giving the care is often on the receiving end of the negativity and minutes later they’ll forget what was said. Sometimes the comments will roll off your back and other times they won’t. Caregivers are often reminded to “let it go” because the person you’re caring for doesn’t know what they’re saying and won’t remember what was said. They’re acting out of frustration and anger, but we’re human and have emotions. And no matter how many times you let comments go, one day there may be one or two that stick with you a bit longer. Perhaps you’re at the height of a stressful day yourself and then to have something negative yelled at you, it’ll take more than counting to 100 to digress. Sometimes you just want to scream, “I’m doing the best that I can, WHY are you calling me this?”
There’s always something new you’ll experience in this journey. Even though I understand my journey and have shed a few tears…OK more than a few, I know my mom has no control on what she’s saying especially in anger. And I not only have to be the adult, but Supergirl and let words bounce off my chest.